Wading Through Momma Hood

The Real Reason to Love Your Body

March 6, 2018

 

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Let’s talk about the thing that gets us mommas in a funk…our body image.  Can I say this has to be the thing I struggle with the most?  My body doesn’t look, feel, or react the way it used to.  I used to eat fast food and junk all day but girl not no more.  As a woman I want to feel beautiful and sexy and thin but everyday I struggle with feeling the opposite of these things.



Sometimes I get so depressed standing in front of the mirror in complete disgust. I will complain throughout the day about how fat I feel while grabbing loose skin or I will make comments about how I shouldn’t have eaten this or that.  I will go to pick out “cute” clothes to wear and nothing looks or feels good so I just go for the loose fitting shirt instead.

But there is a major problem with all of this.  I have a very impressionable daughter who looks up to her momma and mimics everything she does.  I would cry if I heard my daughter saying the very things I say about myself about her own body.  What message am I sending my daughter who is watching me, even when I don’t think she is?

We had family pictures taken recently and they were so good.  Except for every one that I was in I found myself critiquing each imperfection. This picture of my husband and me is great but I did not want to post it to social media because all I see are dimples and a stomach pooch.  There are times that I am mortified by pictures of my mom body.  Honestly it is hard not to be critical of them when all I manage to see is the stomach pooch, flabby arms, and dimples that just won’t seem to leave me alone.  I know I have grown babies and that my body has been stretched like a Stretch Armstrong two times over but it is so hard to keep that in perspective.  Truth is, my body is amazing for being able to do this and the false expectations I put on myself for what my body should look like is ridiculous! I don’t want my daughter to do this to herself as she grows up.



So anyways, as hard as it is, and as much as it pains me, I am posting the dang picture.  Wanna know the crazy thing, you probably wouldn’t even notice those things if I hadn’t  point them out.

Photo Cred: @abbyshadlephoto

Here’s the thing mommas: we can slay hard by going to the gym and eating healthy and getting down to that goal weight but I can sometimes do all of these things and still find something to complain about.  It’s like no matter what I do I am still unsatisfied with myself.  I can assure you I do not want to pass this unhealthy body image down to my daughter, so why do I do it to myself?  She will hear enough from the world about how imperfect she is.  I don’t want her to get that from home as well.

I wish I could be one of those moms who post about being satisfied with their amazing mom body but the truth is I struggle being critical everyday.  I struggled with it in my pre-mom body days so it’s a lot tougher to not be so hard on this fluffier and looser version of myself.  I wish I didn’t have this unhealthy view of my mom body but I am a work in progress so I am starting by posting this picture.  It’s freeing in a way because flaws are a reality we need to embrace and my daughter needs to see her momma doing just that.  She needs to know that flabby arms, a stomach pooch, and dimples on your legs are ok despite what the world shows and tells them.  She needs to see her momma choosing a healthier lifestyle as a choice to be healthy, rather than a bashing my body for an hour  and it do nothing but bring me down.

I don’t want her to walk in my bathroom and her witness me hating myself and grabbing extra skin in front of the mirror in my bra and underwear.  I don’t want her hear me constantly saying I’m so fat and I need to lose some weight.  I don’t want her to hear me complaining about having nothing to wear because I just look disgusting in everything.  But rather, I want her to see her momma confident and proud of the body she has because it gave me her and her brother and all the amazing and beautiful things it has done.  I want her to see me working out and eating healthier because it is good for our bodies not because I hate my body.  This is the attitude I want my daughter to emulate.

Kids are so smart and pick up on things we don’t even realize.  So she will see me working out and eating healthier, but she will also see me reach for an Oreo or something fried and greasy and enjoy it without any negative comments on how it will make me fat.  I want her to love her body and the skin she is in as she changes because she will change.  I want her to understand that she is beautiful no matter what, because she will not get it from the world.  The world will not teach her that she is beautiful because God created her and He doesn’t make mistakes.  It will not teach her that it is ok not to be perfect, but she can learn it from me, her momma.

So love the skin your in momma, embrace it and choose to be healthier mentally.  She, or he, is watching you, and you hold the power to train them up to love themselves.

With Grace and Gumption,

Megan

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19 Comments

  • Reply Jordan April 3, 2018 at 1:24 am

    I love this! So much of what we do is reflected in our babies! Let’s teach teach them to love themselves in everything 💕

    • Reply withgraceandgumption.org April 4, 2018 at 2:19 am

      Thank you Jordan! I 100% agree, in EVERYTHING!!

  • Reply Tamina April 3, 2018 at 3:51 am

    Thank you for sharing, definitely notice how much our littles soak up from watching us!

  • Reply Monica April 4, 2018 at 1:12 am

    I loved this post! Thank you for sharing. Really loved we “hold the power to train them up to love themselves”.

    • Reply withgraceandgumption.org April 4, 2018 at 2:17 am

      Thank you Monica! We absolutely do. I hope my daughter learns to love herself!!

  • Reply Emily Wykes April 5, 2018 at 6:10 pm

    Great post! This is really something I have to remind myself, too. Genny is 16 months old, and already copies me when I put on makeup and brush my hair. Btw, you are freaking adorable! You’re right, we can’t all expect to have the perfect bikini bodies, and we especially can’t put ourselves down when we don’t meet that expectation. Thanks for the encouragement!

    • Reply withgraceandgumption.org April 5, 2018 at 9:01 pm

      Aww Thank you so much! Yes my daughter Emery always copies me when I am putting on make-up an doing my hair as well! they pick up our habits etc!

  • Reply Amir April 16, 2018 at 12:31 pm

    Thanks for sharing this. It’s soneasy to get caught up in how our postpartum bodies look. I have found myself complaining as well but I’m trying to get better at taking action to get to where I want to be.

    • Reply withgraceandgumption.org April 17, 2018 at 2:48 pm

      Yes it is so easy! I sometimes get a little to wrapped up in myself I forget who is watching! So glad you are taking action it is a daily battle.

  • Reply Alex April 16, 2018 at 12:39 pm

    This is SO me! For someone who struggled with the pre-mama bod, the changes you go through during and after pregnancy can be such a blow. It’s a constant struggle for me, and it’s so comforting to see someone share these feelings. By the way, you look SO hot mama!

    • Reply withgraceandgumption.org April 17, 2018 at 2:49 pm

      haha thanks so much! yes it is a constant struggle to fight those insecurities off.

  • Reply Maria April 16, 2018 at 2:25 pm

    This is so true! Thanks for sharing! I have a 4 year old girl who mimics everything I do so I have to remember to not be so down on myself when I’m not feeling my best. This is a great reminder for all moms =).

  • Reply Kathryn April 16, 2018 at 5:26 pm

    I love this!
    I’ve always suffered with body image issues — even before kids. Before kids, I was a size 0 and struggled with an eating disorder and major body dysmorphia. Because of the eating disorder, I had trouble conceiving. Now, 2 kids later, I no longer have an eating disorder — I’m 30 lbs heaver, and I still struggle with body dysmorphia.
    I would hate for my kids to ever feel self conscious about anything, so I try my hardest to not make comments about my body. I try to remember that, regardless of size, my body is amazing because it grew 2 amazing kids.
    More than anything, I want them to love themselves.

    • Reply withgraceandgumption.org April 17, 2018 at 2:50 pm

      So sorry you had dealt with that, but so glad you came out better. I try to remind myself the same things daily. our bodies are amazing for being able to grow those tiny humans!

  • Reply Lori April 16, 2018 at 6:11 pm

    Nice piece. Think we all can relate. I am pretty aware of what my kids see me care about. However, it doesn’t always stop me because they are always around :). I try though and thank you for expressing your insights on this and helping me realize I’m not alone.

    • Reply withgraceandgumption.org April 17, 2018 at 2:52 pm

      Thank you! It’s true they are always around. haha

  • Reply Sarah April 17, 2018 at 12:16 pm

    Love this! I’ve found that even with boys we have to be careful. My boys love me and don’t my imperfections. They hate it when I make fun of myself. Mommas of boys, take it from this boy mom: our little guys need us to be body positive, too. Not just for their sakes, but for their future wives and daughters, as well!

    • Reply withgraceandgumption.org April 17, 2018 at 2:51 pm

      love this! This is so true!!

  • Reply Lynneah April 18, 2018 at 6:36 pm

    Great post! This is the exact reason I have chosen to love my body. I couldnt bear hearing my baby girl say something negative about herself one day. Good job momma!

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