OMG Momma Moments

    The Blowout

    May 2, 2018

    Moms who have or have had a newborn know all about the infamous “blowouts”.  There is not a big enough diaper in the world that can hold them in once they start. I can’t count the number of times I have had to buy an outfit for one of my kids while we were out  because they would poop and it would get EVERYWHERE! It comes out the sides, up the front, and up the back. My daughter once had one that came up her back and all the way into her hairline…umm gross. I look at this tiny little person and I don’t understand how they can have so much come out.

    Once again my OMG Momma Moment comes from my daughter. If you stick around long enough you will quickly find out she is the one that keeps me on my toes. Gotta’ say, there’s never a dull moment with her.

    My husband is a youth pastor and sometimes he has to work on days when most families will have family time. This was a Sunday afternoon right after lunch and he needed to stay at his office for a while so I took tiny Emery to Target to kill some time. I mean what momma can’t kill some time in Target?

    When we get there I head on over to the baby section to look and see if there was anything cute and unnecessary I could buy her.  I picked her out a little outfit that she didn’t really need… yet. Then went through all of the other sections of the store because you can’t leave a Target without covering all of your bases. Well, I ended my adventure in the women’s clothing section. I looked through all of the clothes and picked a few to go try on. I think I went back and forth through the clothes section two or three times to make sure I didn’t miss anything cute.  Then, after I was satisfied, I headed to the dressing room to try them on while thinking about what a pleasant little trip this had been.  But little did I know one of the biggest embarrassments of my life was about to go down.

    I try on the clothes I took into the dressing room and was about to walk out when I looked down and saw something muddy under Emery’s stroller. When I examined it closer I noticed it was also on the bottom of stroller. Not just on the bottom but it was puddled in the basket of the stroller and it was running down the legs of the stroller.  I followed the stream all the way up to smiling, tiny Emery. There she was grinning at me sitting in a puddle of poop. POOP.  It was ALLLLL over her and literally puddled in her seat and down in the basket. But wait, there’s more.  When I opened the dressing room door there was a TRAIL OF POOP!! OMG I was so embarrassed. I grabbed the stroller and followed the trail and it had started at some point during our time in the women’s section while I walked back and forth indecisively.  It was all over the floor of the women’s clothing section in Target. WHAT!?!

    First of all, how? I mean, how does THAT MUCH POOP come out of such a tiny little person!? Secondly, how did I not notice this trail of poop that was following me throughout the entire clothing section! I couldn’t believe it. I was so embarrassed that I left the shirt I was going to buy and quickly went and bought the outfit I had luckily picked out for her and got the heck out of dodge.

    I know what you must be thinking at this point, “You left and didn’t tell anyone about the poop!” or “ You didn’t clean it up!?”  Listen, I am just as embarrassed about that as the incident itself!  I was a new mom and had never experienced anything quite like that before. I thought I would have been judged so badly for not noticing!   Now that I am on my second kid, zero cares!

    So I went to my car and wiped down the stroller with wipes real fast and headed back up to the church.  It was a two man job to clean her up so I enlisted my husband. I was still amazed at how much poop there was. While we were cleaning I told my husband all about the dramatic experience and of course he thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. We got her cleaned and changed and the car seat taken care of and all was well, but I did feel bad for not cleaning up at the store or at least telling someone.

    Moral of the story, WHO CARES! They are babies!   They can’t control their bowel movements like adults. You are a mom and you do the best you can and if that means you have to take the walk of shame to tell someone your daughter has pooped all over the women’s clothing section at Target, well then you do it!  Be proud and amazed that she could even accomplish that. Laugh about it. They are your kids and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I didn’t fully grasp that attitude until my second kid and I wish I would have for my first.

    Have any crazy, embarrassing, or unbelievable stories of your own? Subscribe and shoot me an e-mail with yours to possibly be featured.

    With Grace and Gumption,

    Megan

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